--This will be edited again when complete...or relatively so. Forgive spelling, grammar, etc. etc. -k
Why I sit down to write this, I am not entirely sure. Perhaps it's part of seeking or finding what I really believe. I do not presume that I am the most eloquent of writers - indeed, far from. I only endeavor to explain myself and my views as clearly as possible.
What started this? Confirmation class. More precisely - my second time through, a "refresher course," during the Fall of 1999 at St. Andrew's Episcopal Chruch in Bryan, Texas. November 15 - going through the catechism and being confronted with the realities of starting in the ministry, which I have considered. (It appears that many people have a highly-romaticized view of how a priest becomes one.)
Enough tarrying. I admit nervousness, a bit of reluctance, and am somewhat unsure of what I'll find. I hope to follow the general structure of the Episcopal catechism. Where possible, I'll cite where I've gotten my beliefs. Many times the original authors express themselves better than I could ever attempt.
Human Nature
Q: What are we by nature?
A: We are part of God's creation, made in the image of God.
Oh such an awesome responsibility, to be made in God's image. Definitely not a physical image - God's neither male nor female and He doesn't have skin to be of a particular color - rather a spiritual image. We are co-creators (L'Engle), we love, we reason - all attributes of God. Co-creators. I agree with Ms. L'Engle - the nature of love is to create. Mankind is constantly creating, both good and bad, unfortunately (those wars, poverty, insane asylums). But then there is poetry, children (procreation!), art, gardens, architechture, the list goes on. Obviously with the co-creatorship aspect comes responsibility. We are responsible to use our creative talents and powers wisely and for good. "Just because I can" is not a good enough reason. Is it edifying? Will it build others up? Is it pleasing to God and to others? All must be considered as we live, daily creating.
Q: Why then do we live apart
from God and out of harmony with creation?
A: From the beginning, human beings have misused their freedom and made
wrong choices.
Q: Why do we not use our freedom as we should?
A: Because we rebel against God, and put ourselves in the place of God.
This view seems much more positive than the "evil from birth"/sinful nature view I learned from Baptist sources. It implies choice. We choose to act how we do (of course, this also implies direct responsibility). Unfortunately, we do not make the right choices. I agree there is a certain selfish and almost inherently evil nature from birth. I can't help but wonder, though, how much of that is learned. One only has to watch children to see aspects of learned and seemingly inherent behavior. Correct choices must be taught. We do have the freedom to choose - no using the "I'm evil and sinful by nature - why fight it?" excuse for me!
Every wrong choice is a step from God. Every correct choice, repentence/turning is a step toward God. True bliss, happiness, and joy are known only in God's presence. Unfortunately, some people think these are gained by putting themselves in God's place or "playing God." Who are we to decide the eternal fate of someone? We see the world around us through imperfect eyes. Our biases, preconceived notions, our selfishness get in the way of seeing others as they were made to be seen. We cannot discern the hearts, the thoughts of those around us as God can. What makes us think we have the right to judge others? I suppose this explains the contention between me and the Baptist church. They seem very quick to tell other denominations that "you're doing it wrong." Who are they to decide? I do not understand why I would have to be rebaptized to become a member of their church. I've been baptised and confirmed (more on that later!). The only difference between that and their baby dedication/baptism is when you get wet and how much so! I think it's absolutely ridiculous that I am not able to be accepted into their church by a statement of faith. That is the reason why I doubt you will ever see me as an official member of a Baptist church.
Q: What help is there for us?
A: Our help is in God.
Q: How did God first help us?
A: God helped us by revealing himself and his will, through nature and
history, through many seers and saints, and especially through the prophets
of Israel.
This always brings to mind the rules of Deuteronomy and Leviticus. People complain about how restrictive the laws are/were, but upon closer inspection, they seem to be common sense - dietary rules for keeping them healthy, laws to help them coexist peacefully. (I will not say, however, that I want a return to those laws - I do rather enjoy my relatively new-found freedom as a female!)
Yes, God is a jealous and judgemental God. (If you doubt me, look at what happened to the Egyptians or any of the "-ites" that were wiped out or driven out of the promised land.) But he is also merciful and loving even in the Old Testatment (OT) - think Ninevah, the many times that he forgave Israel... I think people forget this. So many seem to have a skewed view of God's personality. They only see what is perceived as the "Old Testament God." God did, in fact, display anger in the New Testament (NT) as well (the moneychangers...).
Joy. Again I think the whole issue is joy. There is such a focus on "oh what a sinner I am!" that we forget the simple statement: God is love. We are just like that prodigal son in so many ways. The father does not encourage the boy to leave or send the boy away in a fit of anger. The boy leaves of his own accord. The father knows he cannot hold the boy back - that would only cause resentment and anger. So, he lets the boy go and prays that the boy eventually will see that he has chosen incorrectly. He -and we- see that life away from the father is not as spectacular and wonderful as it's first made out to be. The boy comes back, expecting and wanting only to be treated as the lowest of the low. He expects his father to laugh and say "I told you so!" No - the father doesn't. With joy, he welcomes his son who he loves (and has always loved). After all, it's like the boy has been resurrected from the dead! With what greater joy does our Heavenly Father celebrate a step back to him?!
Again, I say God is love. He send part of himself to inhabit human form to remind us that he loves us. So much so, even, he let part of himself die! What parent, when faced with the choice of part of him/herself and the life of a child would not do the same?
Thankfully, Jesus didn't just die - he rose again from the dead. I do not presume to know the full implications of this. I admit I wonder. I do know that by doing so, Jesus conquered death. He showed his ultimate Godhood - the fact that even death cannot hold him - or us. The ultimate defeat defeated to bring about the ultimate triumph.
It wasn't just Jesus that tried to convice us of God's love. God sent all manner of prophets and angels. Even so the father in the story would not sit idly by and let his son ruin his life, but would send friends and family to tell the boy that his father still loved him and to remind the boy of where his actions would lead him. We are a hard-headed lot - we seem bent on the fact that we have to experience it ourselves - we won't take someone else's word for it. As it was with the son, it is only when we are in the lowest part of our lives, wallowing in our consequences, that we attempt a return. Some learn quicker than others and return quicker, others are never able to overcome their hubris to return and ask forgiveness.
All in all - it's not for lack of God's trying (he knocks!), it's for the lack of our responding.
God the Father
Q: What do we learn about God
as creator from the revelation to Israel?
A: We learn that there is one God, the Father Almighty, creator of heaven
and earth, of all that is, seen and unseen.
Q: What does this mean?
A: This means that the universe is good, that it is the work of a singe
loving God who creates, sustains, and directs it.
So many people my age seem to either be agnostic or atheistic. I guess the skepticism of Generation X has a lot to do with that. I just don't understand how anyone could deny the existance of God, even in day-to-day life. I couldn't imagine thinking that everything happened by change, that two amino acids just "happened" to come together, and all these proteins just "happened" to specialize themselves into a single cell...what a hopelessness-inspiring idea! Does not the fact of how complicatedly intricate our bodies are - right down to the error-checking replication of DNA - inspire wonder? The thought of us evolving by chance through mutation is so ridiculous to me that I laugh out loud! I don't care how many billions of years you give it - I cannot believe macroevolution is true! (Notice here, I've made a distinction. I have no problems with different phenotypes evolving from a single "type" of animal, "microevolution" - i.e. Chiuahuas and Great Danes, they're both dogs. However, macroevolution, amoebas turning into lizards which turn into apes - that I have a problem with!) I don't want to hear all the tired arguments for evolution - I've heard and refuted nearly all of it. This is not just some blind faith I have; in fact, it's something I examined closely before believing.
Not only did God create life, but he also sustains and directs it. He didn't just create Adam and Eve and say, "Ok, y'all..." (Yes, God has a southern accent - heaven is located smack dab in the middle of Texas Hill Country ;) ) He didn't say, "Ok, y'all - it's up to you. You're on your own from here on out." Far from. If you know your OT, think of all the people he spoke to - all the kings and prophets. He tried to direct His people, to keep them from harm, to help them better themselves. He gave them the laws numerated in Leviticus and Dueteronomy for their own good. He cared for them as any father would, even to punishing them lovingly to keep them from going too far astray. And in the most loving act of all, He sacrificed part of Himself - Jesus - to redeem them.
Now I'm not into this whole "bloodthirsty God" image. He didn't just send Jesus down and kill him. Instead this fully-God yet fully-man preached to the people, clarifying what had been muddied by legalism over the years, speaking of love, not law, of freedom, not servitude. When that failed, God said, "Look, I love you so much that I will sacrifice part of myself for you." What parent would not make that same sacrifice for his or her child? I know not everyone has a good image of what parents are supposed to be, but God is the best daddy that anyone could ask for.
Even today, God still sustains and directs us. For me, my conscience, my "gut feeling" if you will, had been developed in a Christian environment. Rarely am I conscious of something God is telling me. Usually, it's through nudges, through instictive reactions and feelings - that's how I know. This varies between individuals - I've known several that are almost always conscious of God speaking to them. Others have visions and dreams. I think that each person has to find out how God speaks to him or her.
Q: What does this mean about
our place in the universe?
A: It means that the world belongs to its creator; and that we are called
to enjoy it and to care for it in accordance with God's purposes.
Three things jump out at me. (1) The world is not ours. (2) We are called to enjoy it. (3) We are also called to take care of it.
It's as if a friend lets you stay in their house for free - allowing you to do as you like with it. I've had friends before that I would be reluctant to tell "Treat others' things as you would your own" - they can't even take proper care of their own things. I suppose there will always be people like that, unfortunately.
It seems the longer that we have something, the more we forget it's not our own. We've been responsible for the earth for, what, 10,000 years? (Yes, I do subscribe to the "young earth" theory.) Many of the ancient beliefs - Christian/God-fearing or not - were a lot more reverent in how they took care of the earth. We've made plenty of "improvements" since then, but at what cost? No, I'm not advocating that we all give up technology and return to life like cavemen. (That would mean the master's degree I'm pursuing is all for naught!) We should, however, think about how our actions affect our borrowed planet home and act accordingly. Every one of us can do our part - even if it's just recycling and planting trees.
Q: What does this mean about
human life?
A: It means that all people are worthy of respect and honor, because all
are created in the image of God, and all can respond to the love of God.
My first impuse was to turn to Madeleine L'Engle's book, And It Was Good: Reflections on Beginnings. In the first chapter, she talks of God creating - "So God said, Let us make man in our image...male and female." She sums it up so nicely, "...it takes both male and female to complete the image of God..." It is out of this special creation, the image of God imprinted into us, that comes our worthiness of respect and honor.
The biggest problem I have with evolution is this: it insists that life came about by chance. Such implies that we have no inherent worth or value or purpose. How does that make you feel?
I don't know about your situation, but I was brought into this world as God intended: by two loving parents who created me and gave me life out of their love for one another. They have, and still do, look after me and take care of me and love me. Such is the way that God created when he formed land and sea, mammals and fish, sky and earth, night and day, man and woman. It was an outpouring of love, this creation.
Being imprinted with God's image, we are all capable of responding to this first love shown with a loving, creative response - from which flows poetry, music, plays, books, webpages, art... We are called to be co-creators with God - to use our creativity to uplift and honor and respect others, to be responsible and loving with our creativity. This work, this manifesto, is an outpouring of love.
Namasté - I salute the God within you. I honor and respect you because you are human, therefore made in God's image and worthy of honor and respect and love.