but i've been busy - tasc stuff, classes, work...due dates, publishing dates, tests, events, details to chase...too much in too short a time span and too little sleep at times to properly face the day.
i'm finally able to get to the events of the last month. i haven't given myself the chance to think about it - really, after all that i have going on i really don't need the added stress. sounds selfish, i know, but if i let myself fall prey to tears and news addiction, when do i stop? who is there to tell me when it's time to move on and get on with living life in as normal a fashion as possible? i know the week after sept 11 i came down with a nasty head/chest cold. that's the last thing i need now.
but why. that's what i want to know. why us? why innocent people? all these reports now of anthrax, copycat trouble on airplanes....no wonder i want to bury my head in the sand. it's hard enough for me just to keep my info 640 group moving in the same direction on a webpage! i suppose this is where trusting the officials i helped elect into office comes into play — that and doing what i can to do my part.
when i first got the 'forward day by day' special edition 'meditations for a time of crisis' i almost tossed it out. but now as i give myself a few moments here and there to try and wrap my brain around a little bit of what's happened, i find i need it. i need to be reassured that God is there, that he's listening, that he's not the one who's caused what's happening or 'let it happen.' i need to be reminded in this time of hate and fighting that we are supposed to pray for our enemies, to seek justice and not revenge, to love. i need this reassurance — God will not leave us comfortless.