in my case, it's going on 3 months now...
so one of the people who went to my high school is sean watkins of nickel creek. i finally get a chance to say hello when he's in austin this last april and i can't manage intelligent conversation. gah.
i suppose it's because i went on the assumption that he wouldn't remember who i was right away, and that i'd spend most of the conversation trying to remind him who i was. when he remembered me off the bat, it threw me for a loop, i guess. there were so many things i should have said, that i wanted to say:
'*laugh* i had the hugest crush on you in high school.' (true, but no, he'd have thought i was stalking or something, and i'm not, so i'm glad that didn't make its way out of my mouth. that would have been even worse!)
'oh, i'm a musician too, when i'm not swing dancing. what do i play? hammered dulcimer right now. i sing too. oh, and i'm picking up the fiddle in a month or so as well. oh yeah, just got back from mountain view, arkansas and this great workshop in the ozarks. it was a ton of fun. yeah, i'm hoping to go to some of the bluegrass jams around the country. maybe merlefest next year. oh? you go there too?'
'say, when are you leaving town? we're headed to the kerby lane cafe if y'all want to join us for dinner.'
'oh, here's my email address, we should keep in touch...'
'next time you're in town it'd be fun to get together and jam.'
hah. did i say any of those things? no. it was full of awkward looks and awkward moments and conversation like: him: 'hey, yeah. i think i remember you. didn't you have long, curly hair?' me: 'yep, that's me. it straightened when i cut it. not really long enough to curl properly. it just sticks up.' (some non-intelligent brief conversation about the weather) him: 'so what are you doing here?" me: 'oh, i went to school at a&m, just finished my masters and i'm still hanging around here working.' him: 'cool, well, i should get going.' me: 'alright. see you later.'
not to mention that it took 15 minutes of shyness waiting to see if he'd show up after the concert. nick finally intercepted one of the tour people and asked just as sean came walking out anyway. i don't understand sometimes why i lapse back into high school habits when i'm faced with someone from high school. it's weird. i was shy during high school, therefore i am shy when talking to someone from high school. i'm *so* glad we don't do high school reunions. i wouldn't be able to function at one. (too busy trying to prove i'd changed or something, probably.)
guh. *facepalm* maybe now that you share my pain, i can stop kicking myself. *sigh*
Posted by kendra at July 17, 2003 08:57 AM